after reading “Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism” by Audre Lorde (available for download at http://summerofourlorde.wordpress.com/thus-saith/)
What is your individual definition of anger? Where did you learn these definitions?
What is your relationship to your own anger? If you had to visually describe what your anger looks like, how would you describe it?
What is the relationship between anger and privilege?
If you are reading this in a group, let us know how the following discussions go…
Can your group create a collective definition of anger?
How is privilege operating in your group? How is anger acknowledged or silenced in your community?
Check out this powerful definition of anger from the Summer of Our Lorde Session @ INCITE DC!
a force and fuel
a feeling and fire
of feminine psychic power
rooted in conflict
that moves
from unbalanced to revolution;
from accusatory to defiant;
from tense to strength;
that incites action and creative expression
out of necessity.
Yes!
Anger is a scary thing to me and seems to come from a place of expectation. One must have an expectation that is violated or unmet, which can result in anger. I learned about anger from my father who expected a lot from me that I wasn’t always able to deliver. It was frightening and hurtful not to meet his expectations. Consequently, I generally bite back my own anger, especially when it comes up in the context of people I’m close to because it hurt me so much. I can be angry with the president, a misogynist rapper or two, systems of oppression, but friends and family, not so much. It usually results in passive aggressive behavior where I swallow feelings that can turn into resentment or I sever ties, not at all good strategies for building healthy community. The essay reminds us that it is better to speak when angry than to turn away when things are difficult. It also calls on you who is receiving anger to bear it. To be a witness and not cloak oneself in guilt so that you are not held responsible.
My anger might look like self implosion if I’m not careful. Needless to say the first step to fixing a problem is recognizing you have one. I’m actively trying to work on that piece of myself.
Anger and privilege that’s tricky. I think a lot of Lorde’s anger was directed at privilege white women wanted to remain unaccountable for. I think that is definitely connected to the outward anger that fuels my activism. I’m hesitant to say that carries over to interpersonal conflict but I suppose a friend’s sense of entitlement, or someone close to you getting preferential treatment could also produce anger. I think I return to unmet expectations as the primary anger producer in my close relationships which isn’t always about privilege.
I’m curious about how we respond to what we perceive to be unwarranted anger. How do we hold the space when folks bring us something that we can’t perceive as being something to be upset about? To return to the social justice context, I get so angry, livid even, about the way misogyny is not recognized by men. I feel like i’m jumping up and down screaming “don’t you understand that people violate me (my sisters) without consequence?!” and men (some men) are like “well that’s not my problem because I didn’t do that to you.” How do we hold folks accountable that don’t want to be held?
Hey Sis!
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to the Uses of Anger essay. What you say about anger threatening to implode really resonates with me. i realized…during my intense anger about the duke lacrosse case…that the referential image of my anger is actual the explosion of the 16th street baptist church. that’s literally what i see when i’m repressing my anger, trying to hold it in so the world doesn’t explode.
and you’re so right…it’s so directly related to misogyny and gender dynamics in our movement. i wrote some about that a while ago here: http://thatlittleblackbook.blogspot.com/2006/10/little-girl-parts-or-i-may-not-get.html
Lex, Lex, Lex,
Where would the world be without you?
I also posted this as a comment at Firewalking women….
Yesterday women of color came together to think about Audre Lorde’s words and to think about our anger.
our collective definition is here: http://iwannalive.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/we-define-it/